I Suck at Life

I got to thinking, as I always do, what the fuck am I going to do when I'm out of the Air Force in 4 months?

I started going over what job skills I could offer the civilian world and the list was really short, if a list at all. I have skills that I could use and would be able to snatch up a job in no time flat, but I will be making less money then I made before I came in the service.

Ok so lets look at what I got:
I have an A.A.S. in Computer Electronics, I didnt learn a damn thing in school. It was a waste of 20k that I am still paying for now. The only job it landed me was a Computer Tech position at Best Buy. Let me tell you, I was rolling in teh cash there, ya ok, whatever.

Next I came in the Air Force as a Personnelist. This is just the military way of saying human resources. I managed peoples careers through all of the paperwork and behind the sences stuff that most people didnt car about until it was time for them to take of something. Totaly a thankless job, but I was damn good at it. If anybody can be good at paperwork, I was the fucking man. Now I could get a job in human resources just about anywhere, and since I worked in a hospital, I have knowledge of that side of human resources. Doing a quick search, I could probably choose where I wanted to work, but they only paid like $10/hour! WTF is that? That would even pay for any drug habits that I'm likely going to have to pick up when I get out of the Air Force cause I'm so fuckind depressed that the only job I could find was $10/hour.

Growing up I thought I was really into computers and wanted to be a Sys Admin. I got the opprotunity to retrain my career to just that. School was going to be 3 months long, but most of the training was going to be on the job. So I figured, who wouldnt want to hire me, I work on Mulit million dollar networks for the government. Well about oh 2 weeks into school, I realized that I hate computers and don't have the energy or the desire to learn everything I needed to know to be viable in this career field nor was I willing to keep up with it. The IT industry is very cut throat and in order to make the "big bucks" you hear about, you have to stay in school every day in order to stay some what up with the technology. Cause let's face it, once you finish school on one thing, it has changed already. Fuck that! Well I don't really have to worry about it anyways since I have never touched our network here before in the 2 years I have been here.

See I work in an office that inventories equipment. Basically I work in a warehouse and kick boxes and do.......you guessed it.......paperwork all fucking day long. And what sucks even more, I am to damn efficient and good at it. So now it looks like I could get a job at Lowe's or Home Depot, or some other heavy lifting, back breaking, warehouse job out there, making oh probably $10/hour again. Oh but I work the management side of all of this now. I could get a management position! Sweet, now I get paid $13.50/hour and have 5 times as much bullshit to deal with. Awesome I can't wait.

So now I know you are going to ask the question, "Well, why don't you just stay in teh military?" I like it here, I guess, but I have gotten to the point in my life that I think taht I am just done with it all. I know there are the pros and cons, and I have weighed them out and have come to the conclusion that I dont have the passion to give it everything I should.

SO I ask you, you got any better Ideas?

My Coffee is Cold

Why is it in office buildings that they keep it so Fucking cold? I mean seriously, is there someone in the office that is so hot that the A/C needs to be on when its 60 outside and 55 in the office? And why is it that we can't control it in this building? It is controlled by some computer on teh equator that thinks its 100+ all year round.

We are on this kick right now about saving energy and not using so much electricity in our building. So why the need to run the A/C all year round? We could just shut it off and we would be ok, but we use twice as much cause we all have personal heaters at our desk.

Maybe they think we will not fall asleep if it is sub zero temps in the office. But its about right for me to just pass out, but way too cold to even move.

The Dating Game

I am back out on the scene and really have no clue what the fuck I am doing. My divorce went final in July but my marriage had been over since January. So now I'm out doing the single thing again. There is the one girl that is in our circle that is awesome, but was kinda in a relationship. I asked some of my friends about her and they all agreed that she was hot and way too good for the guy she was with. I didnt know what to do, I liked this girl, but she was kinda involved and my friends kept telling me to go for it. I didnt want to be that guy that just muscle their way in and be a home wrecker. I know that I would like it if it happened to me.

One day I got a random text from her say that she missed me cause I didnt make it out that weeked due to a wedding in Cali. I thought wow....so a little flirting back and forth and she asks if I am going to make it out to the show that weekend. I say yes but was going up a day later than she. We started talking more and more and I realized that I really had a chance cause her current relationship was just about over. Things are great and we have been talking quite a bit. She is a really cool chick and we get along well. I don't know if that would constitute as dating but the chick before her was nuts and I dont want to do that again. So who knows, I like to keep a positive mind, so hopefully all turns out well.

When I Grow Up

I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I am comming up to the end of my enlistment, but have no clue what I am going to do for income. I have become accustomed to the life style I live and don't really want to tone it down. I am sure I wont have a problem being able to do that it is just what I am going to be doing to accomplish that. I know that I don't want to work on computers the rest of my life. I have lost interest in them and I am way to far behind in the industry to want to catch up so that I am a viable assest. So what does that leave. I could go back to school, but for what? I just don't know what I want to do the rest of my life that will give me a decent living to support myself and possibly a family down the road. I don't seem to be an expert on any one thing. I am more a jack of all trades. Ugh I think I am having anxiety.

New Car

In January I purchased a brand new TDI Jetta cause my truck was a beast and a gas hog. The car was really confortable and I got really good gas mileage being that it was diesel, even though I drove it like a bat out hell. But I found myself wanting something faster and funner. Lets face it the car was not fast and was basically a grocery getter. I need something and I needed it now. I was really thinking about what kind of car I wanted to fill the void I was having but couldn't figure out what I could see myself in. Until one day I drove into work to see this new car in the parking lot, a 2005 BMW M3. OMG that car was beatiful, but who's was it. I get into the office and ask my co-worker, "Did you see that M3 parked next to your car?" He was just as surprised as I was, when another co-worker spoke up and said, "I think thats Calvin's car. I seen him in a BMW yesterday." So off I was to talk to him, "Hey man did you get a new car?"

That car was really nice. I got to doing some research on them and found out that I could afford a 2000-2002 M3 or M5. So off the Autotrader to see what I could scrounge up. I found a few that were what I was looking for but by the time I got to the dealer they had already sold. I got to thinking that I'm not sure if I really wanted to give up my 4 doors, so I was off to look at this M5. OMG this car was so clean. I ended up getting a good deal so I decided to buy it. A 2000 BMW M5.

This car is scary fast. I mean fucking fast as hell. I have never been behind the wheel of a car so fast before. Im not going to lie, this car scares the hell out of me, but at the same time it puts the biggest smile on my face.

Fun at Weddings

I had the honor of being a groomsman in my friends wedding a few weekends ago. I hadn't seen my friend in about 2 years from the last wedding that we were in together. I had an awesome time. I got to meet his friends that he usually hangs out with and they were awesome as well. I just really hope they can come out to visit so we can live it up again. I think I would have had more fun if I would had been able to actually drink and have fun, but my roommate got so shitty so quick that it was babysitting all night for me.

Hello World

This is my first official post on my new blog. I have dedicated this blog to what goes on in my head and my life.

Quick backround on me: I am 26 year old SSgt in the U.S. Air Force. I have been in 5 years and have a little less than a year left until I am a civilian again. I am into many things, cars, motorcycles, gadgets, partying, music, and my friends. I recently just got out of a marriage, and have decided to not let it get me down, and to move on with my life. I spend a lot of time with my friends cause I live so far from my family and don't get to see them that often. I am mostly a laid back person, and I am very socialable. I don't get mad too often unless you really piss me off, but then I usually maintain. I am realist, so I tend not to over-react very often and am very understanding. I like to just go with the flow mostly, but am not affraid to speak up and tell you what I am thinking. I always have lots of thoughts running through my head, and I usually have trouble sleeping cause I think way too much. My mind is way too active. I usually don't fear too many things, but my biggest fear is not knowing what is in my future. This brings great anxeity that I don't have too much control over it. I'm not a control freak, at least I don't think I am, but it causes me lots of sleepless nights of wandering what the fuck is going on/happening in my life.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. I will try to keep you entertained as to what goes on in my head and in my life as much as possible.